Keith Ferrazzi and the “Lifeline” Experiment
To paraphrase: The key predictor of success is whether people on a team give a s— about each other. Have a dream, then list the top 100 people who can help achieve that dream; strategize on how to meet them. Bait your hook with real generosity, because no one wants to help self-serving strangers. Never forget to wish your top 1000 friends “Happy Birthday”.
Hyper-caffeinated and running on 3 hours sleep, Keith Ferrazzi exploded on stage at the Stanford GSB Career Summit. His keynote blazed as a rapid-fire mindmeld of guidance, jokes and f-bombs.
Did he connect? Undoubtedly. Was he too edgy for some people? F— yes. Did anyone fail to find value in his message? I doubt it—that’s my best guess from a couple dozen random chats (please let me know if you think different, I don’t mean to misrepresent our class).
Above: (left) Ferrazzi keynotes at Stanford GSB. (middle & right) his best selling books
Full disclosure: I started reading Keith’s first book and blog years ago. We first met when his Who’s Got Your Back book tour came to Microsoft. I follow him on Twitter.
Keith:
Me:
This summer, Keith’s concept of “lifeline” friendships compelled me to experiment. As recommended, I started with a 3-hour dinner with two long time friends discussing the idea: transformative relationships providing support and feet-to-the-fire accountability.
The analysis was striking. Despite years of friendship—hiking, rafting, flying to Paris to crash INSEAD parties—our accountability for each other’s success neared nil. “H” managed Microsoft engineers, I bounced around divisions, “O” left to found a start-up. Our conversation were friendly but arm’s length, rarely pushing past comfort zones.
Over one long and deliberate dinner that changed. We shared fears, dreams and hang-ups. We learned what the others wanted out of life and what stood in their way.
Next step: meet weekly. Drinks and great food, always. Then time for the check-in. Did we achieve the goals we set? Why not? How can we help each other?
My conclusion was each of us has a choice: Either work alone to make your dreams come true or have people in your corner. The difference can be dramatic.
